


little ray of sunshine

by riceballs



Series: the great 2017 rewrite [4]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mild Language, Minor Character Death, Single Parent AU, and tao and luhan, apink naeun as well, other misc people from sm entertainment appear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-15 17:04:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13035594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riceballs/pseuds/riceballs
Summary: When little baby Miyoung first came into his life, Jongin had no idea how much his world would change. It wasn’t until Kyungsoo was invited in that Jongin realized nothing would be the same ever again.





	1. one.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm slowly editing, updating, and reposting some old fics of mine from 2014-2015. This was originally written for chenhuns@lj for [kaisoommer 2014](http://kaisoommer.livejournal.com/19656.html). some minor characters have been changed from who they originally were for various reasons.

Usually, Jongin was good at adapting to change quickly. He lived most of his life separated from his family, and having to survive on his own at a young age made him more independent then most of his fellow peers. One of his biggest attributes would have to be his ability to take whatever life threw at him. Short on money two weeks before rent payments? Not a problem. Term paper due the same week he has a full schedule of teaching? No worries. Female dancers having a fight at the studio an hour before their show? Messy, but consider it handled.

 

Yet, despite all the dramatics that seemingly found their way into Jongin’s hands, the one thing he probably could never have anticipated was getting the custody of his niece, one whom he did not even know existed until a month ago at his brother’s funeral.

 

“I don’t get why my mother can’t just keep it,” he mumbled, looking at the bundle in his hands. The social worker sighed for what seemed to be the thousandth time that day.

 

“ _Like I’ve said repeatedly_ , there’s a messy custody battle between the two sets of grandparents, since no will was left over who gets custody.” Jongin rolled his eyes; he could just imagine his mother throwing a fit in the courtroom. The whole Romeo and Juliet scenario that his brother and his fiancée were in was the whole reason Jongin left home three years ago; he couldn’t stand the elitism their two families had.

 

“…and that’s why the judge decided an outside party would be the best place for her to grow up in, away from whatever problems your family and Sunyoung’s family seem to be having.” The social worker groaned again, seeing as Jongin had obviously spaced out. “By the way, the ‘it’ in your hands has a name, her name is Miyoung, I suggest you start getting use to it.” As if on cue, the baby girl began to stir in his arms, causing Jongin to jump in fright. The social worker stared helplessly at him.

 

“But why me? I didn’t even agree to this.”

 

“An aunt or uncle would be the most appropriate outside party, someone related but not involved. You’d already declared an official emancipation from your family matters, making you a perfect candidate. And Sunyoung was a single child.” Checking her watch, the social worker picked up her bag, pausing as Jongin reached out in fright. She sighed. “Jongin, I can’t stay, there are unfortunately so many more cases that require me today. It’s a sad word we live in, where I have to make five more stops before the end of the day.” Jongin retracted his hand, but still looked pleadingly at the social worker, as the baby continued to squirm in his arms.

 

The social worker sighed again. “Jongin.” He froze. “Technically, you have a choice. I can take Miyoung to an orphanage or foster care, until the whole situation is cleared up. But the poor girl…” He could see the social worker blinking away tears. “She just turned one years old, and already lost both her parents. Children at this age are more attentive then you think. I… I don’t want to take her from one harsh reality into…”

 

“…into another.”

 

He looked down at the child, feeling completely helpless. There was something about her that reminded Jongin of himself. During his childhood, Jonghyun was the only one who made him feel at home in a household filled with strife and indifference, so as soon as his brother got married and was subsequently kicked out, Jongin had no other reason to stay behind.

 

And here was someone else who undoubtedly felt the hospitable kindness that the ever friendly Jonghyun was known for, someone who Jonghyun had loved and would have continued to care about. Someone who had unexpectedly lost all that one dark and rainy night. They both would never feel Jonghyun’s love again, but at least with Jongin, he had a new place to go home to at the end of the day. Miyoung could only rely on his parents or the state from now on.

 

He knew how it felt to be at a home without his peacemaking brother. The days after his brother moved out were full of tense and uncomfortable silence, only broken once in a while by his mothers scathing words or fathers harsh comments. No one could survive that without developing their own hatred towards the world.

 

At sixteen, Jongin had a choice. At one, she had no such opportunity.

 

“I-I’ll t-take care of her.” He mumbled. “You’re right, she doesn’t deserve any of this. I owe my brother so much, and this is the only way I can possibly ever repay him.” The social worker let out a small smile.

 

She handed a card to Jongin. “I’ll be back as soon as I can to check up on you guys, but if you need me, my numbers on that card.” With that, she stepped out of his apartment. Jongin watched her walk down the stairwell, and continued to stand there frozen until he could no longer hear her clacking heels.

 

Despite what he said about repaying his brother, it just hit him at that moment what he had agreed too exactly. He had responsibility over a whole other _human being_. Jongin could hardly take care of himself.

 

He walked mindlessly in, the baby in his arms seemingly getting heavier each step. She was still in slumber, though he could feel her breathing pick up, a sign that she was soon to wake up.

 

And then what? He didn’t know what to do with a sleeping child, much less an awaken one.

 

Setting her carefully in the crib in his living room, he looked into the box the social worker had left with him. Various bags with assorted labels looked up at him. Clothes, diapers, toys… it was all too much. What happens when she starts crying? What food was he supposed to feed her? _How do you change a diaper?_ She was a girl for crying out loud, Jongin wasn’t sure how appropriate it would be for him to see her naked.

 

A few whimpers broke into his thoughts. Startling, he looked over to the crib. Miyoung was stirring again, but this time, her eyes were blinking. They opened wide, gaping up at the – definitely unfamiliar – surroundings.

 

“Please don't…”

 

“Wahhhh!!” Unfortunately, Jongin’s prayers would remain unanswered. The high pitch screams filled his usually noiseless apartment, and Jongin winced. He quickly went to her side, shushing her as much as he could, but she continued to bawl, even kicking around in her crib while doing so. Jongin flung himself back onto his couch, his own face scrunched up in panic.

 

What to do? He ran his brain through everyone he knows, but most of them are like him, single and childless. He doubts he wants Tao around a baby, and Sehun would probably kill it. Yixing… Taemin… Luhan… everyone lived too far, or was too inexperienced, plus Jongin wasn’t sure he wanted any of that crew to know about his situation at the moment.

 

Miyoung’s tears grew louder, to the point of wailing. Jongin wondered if it was worth keeping a secret anymore, considering how noisy she was getting. He pulled out his phone, scrolling down his contact list. Was there anyone he knew that had some experience with kids before?

 

_Kyungsoo!_

 

Do Kyungsoo, who resided next door, had an older brother. This older brother had kids. They sometimes came over; he could hear the laughter and yelling through his walls. It was worth a shot.

 

He whimpered a quick _I’ll be back_ to Miyoung, which only seem to set her off even more. Nearly stumbling over his feet, he skidded to a halt outside of the apartment next to his, knocking frantically on the door.

 

“Coming!” The muffled voice sounded, before the door opened. His next-door neighbor startled for a second, before blinking up at Jongin’s panicked face. “Jongin! Is everything alright?” Part of him would have probably wilted and stuttered an apology, seeing as Kyungsoo was still in his pajamas, but this was an emergency.

 

“Help.” He squeaks out instead, pointing to his own apartment. Kyungsoo furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, but immediately widened his eyes, as the cries get louder. Wordlessly, he followed Jongin back into his apartment, catching sight of Miyoung.

 

“Why. Do you. Have. A kid. In your apartment. Jongin.” Jongin didn’t think it was possible, but Kyungsoo’s eyes widened even more.

 

“It’s a really long story but please just help me make her stop crying.” Without a word, Kyungsoo dropped to his knees in front of her crib.

 

“Do you have clean diapers?” Jongin pulled out the giant box that the social worker dropped off and sets it next to Kyungsoo, pulling out the bag labeled ‘diapers’.

 

“Shh… it’s okay…” Jongin could see Kyungsoo petting at Miyoung’s head, as he hummed a soft lullaby. Her crying didn’t stop, but decreased slightly, allowing for Kyungsoo to take off the diaper and wrap it up, before grabbing the new one from Jongin’s hands.

 

“Can she walk? How old is she?” Kyungsoo asked, expertly putting on the new diaper. Jongin looked away.

 

“A-About 14 months I-I think, b-but they say she’s going t-to be slower in d-developing ‘cause of the car accident.” Kyungsoo let out a soft _oh_ , finally understanding whose child Miyoung exactly was.

 

“We’re going to have to teach her a lot then,” Kyungsoo murmured. He took the dirty diaper to the kitchen, throwing it away. “Did you start warming her milk? Is there any baby food? No wait, she wouldn’t be eating baby food anymore, she started teething right?” Jongin could feel a headache coming.

 

“Jongin, does she still use a bottle? What about a pacifier? How about-“

 

“Kyungsoo I-I just got her about an hour ago I don’t know!” Kyungsoo froze in the kitchen. Jongin leaned his head into his hands, blinking away tears.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m really thankful for your help, it’s just… this is happening way to fast- and- and I just- I don’t think I can do this-“

 

“Hey hey hey calm down,” He blinked again, as the elder came into his view, a warm smile on his face. “We’ll get through this together. I’ll help you get use to this okay? Please don’t worry.”

 

Jongin blinked through his tears, a rare Kyungsoo smile greeting his eyes. He let out a weak grin of his own.

 

“Please don’t ever move away.” He replied softly. Kyungsoo let out a faint laugh.

 

“We’ll see about that.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

**THREE YEARS LATER**

 

“I should have never asked you to stay, if it was just going to turn out like this!” Jongin wailed, hugging Miyoung close to his chest. Kyungsoo scoffed.

 

“Jongin stop being ridiculous.”

 

“Why are you doing this to me? I trusted you Kyungsoo!”

 

“Jongin, please.”

 

“I hate you!”

 

“I know you don’t mean that.”

 

“Why did I let you into our lives? Whyyyy-“

 

“It’s because you love me.” Kyungsoo cut in dryly. “Isn’t that right Mimi?” he added in a lighter tone, grinning at Miyoung’s happy nod in agreement, despite being held firmly against her uncle’s chest.

 

Jongin pouted and pulled closer. “Don’t say that Mimi, you don’t know what that mean person over there is trying to do.” He fake sobs into Miyoung’s hair. “He’s taking you away from me and sending you off to a dangerous place!”

 

“She’s four years old for heavens sake, daycare is not dangerous.” Kyungsoo sighed once again, getting out of front seat and opening the back. Jongin glared at him, holding Miyoung even tighter. “And besides, I don’t trust those hooligans at your work place any more.”

 

Jongin sat up, insulted. “Language, Kyungsoo, two children are present! And they are not...” he covered Miyoung’s ears. “Hooligans, they are decent and respectable people!” Kyungsoo gave him a stare.

 

“Do I have to remind you what Miyoung’s first word was?” Jongin paled. Kyungsoo took the opportunity to scoop Miyoung out of the backseat, ignoring Jongin’s whining and outstretched arms across the backseat, grasping for his niece. “I’m going to sign her in and check the place out. I _would_ have brought you along inside, but seeing that you’re an even bigger baby then Mimi is, you get to stay out here.”

 

“Kyungsoooo-“

 

“You better be seat belted and ready to go by the time I get back.” The elder paid no heed to Jongin’s continuous whines, turning his back.

 

“But Kyungsooo-“

 

“Get into the front of the car and wait for me. Seat belted, you hear?”

 

“Kyung-“

 

“That’s an order.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Are you still upset I sent Miyoung to daycare?” Kyungsoo groaned as Jongin continued to ignore him, opting to stare out the window instead. “Jongin, you have those dance classes to teach now in the evenings. That, on top of your regular job at the chicken store… I’m just afraid having to watch Miyoung as well is going to be too much for you to handle. Besides, it’ll be good for Miyoung if she gets to interact with other kids besides Taemin’s kids and my brother’s brats.” He looked back over at Jongin, and sighed. “Just let her stay for half a day, and if you’re _still_ upset about it we can sign her out early and try again tomorrow-“

 

“Do you remember…” Jongin cut in, turning to face the front again. “When I first held Miyoung, after you got her to stop crying that first day?” Kyungsoo turned silent. “I was so scared of holding her even, scared that I might drop her or cause her to cry again or… just… I was just really, really scared of having to take care of her by myself.”

 

“And now look, I can hardly get myself to let her go to daycare.” He chuckled softly to himself. “Look at how much things have changed. She was so little back then, but now… she’s grown so much into a perfect angel… Jonghyun would be so proud.” He trailed off, before turning to Kyungsoo.

 

“Thank you.” he added quietly. Kyungsoo blushed.

 

“If I got a penny every time you said that to me, I’d have enough for you to quit your jobs and stay home with Miyoung full time,” he grumbled, but the bright glow on his face betrayed his true emotions.

 

They pulled up to Unidentified Flying Chicken™, and Kyungsoo slowed the car. He turned to face Jongin.

 

“Tell you what. I’ll pick the two of you up around lunchtime, we can go celebrate your new teaching job and her first day, how’s that?” Jongin brightened up.

 

“For real?” His eyes popped out. Kyungsoo let out a small chuckle.

 

“My treat,” he smiled softly. “Now hurry up and go put on your chicken suit, Yixing hates it when you’re late.” Jongin got out of the car and bounded around it, stopping at Kyungsoo’s window.

 

“Can we go have Japanese food? It’s been a while…” Jongin pouted, batting his eyes in hopefully what came off as cutely. Kyungsoo groaned in exasperation.

 

“Please, please, pweety pwease?” Jongin continued to babble, making as good of a puppy face as he could at the elder. Kyungsoo let out a short chuckle.

 

“Go to work, I’ll think about it.” He sighed again as Jongin let out a whoop, knowing that he won. He continued his victorious catcalls even as Kyungsoo pulled away.

 

Walking inside the fast food joint, he waved at his coworker Luhan, who sat at the ordering counter, looking bored, and blatantly ignoring the other, Sehun, whose usually emotionless face twinkling with playful delight.

 

“Hey Jongin, getting dropped off by your sugar daddy? How sweet.”

 

“Shut up Sehun.” He pushed at the younger’s shoulder, growling at Sehun’s giggles. Sehun followed Jongin as he walked into the back office, clocking himself in and grabbing an apron.

 

“You can’t even deny it, it’s totally true.” Sehun continued, despite Jongin’s attempts to swat him away. “He practically pays for everything you own, takes you and Mimi out to eat all the time, and come on, isn’t he the one who signed Miyoungie up for that _prestigious tuition needed_ _daycare_ ‘cause you completely forgot four year olds go to daycares in general?” Jongin rolled his eyes, continuing to tune out his coworker.

 

“Lay off Sehun,” Luhan called from the counter. Jongin wanted to thank Luhan for siding with him. “Kyungsoo only does it out of pity, since Jongin is so in loooooooove with him.” And then kill him for adding on with that.

 

“Please not this again,” he groaned, glaring at Sehun’s increasingly louder laughs. It was nothing new to him, getting teased by tweedledum and tweedledumber about his ‘so-called unrequited love’ on Kyungsoo, and it only got more and more annoying every time they brought it up, considering, “I don’t have a crush on him.”

 

“Please, you totally do. That must suck though, being in love with someone way out of your league.” Sehun snorted, sliding into the seat next to Luhan. They both tilted their heads, smirking up at the other. It amazed Jongin how alike they were, especially when it came to teasing him. “Though… we’re actually pretty sure he likes you back. I mean, who the hell pays that much to send their _neighbor’s_ kid to a daycare.” Jongin turned away from the two, ignoring the gnawing guilt in his stomach. He had tried to protest it, but Kyungsoo had insisted, stating how Miyoung’s doctor recommended the daycare to accommodate Miyoung’s mental needs was why she absolutely needed to go.

 

It’s just like something straight out of one of Tao’s favorite dramas,” Luhan chimed in, swiveling in his counter stool to join the conversation. “Rich businessman, poor peasant, and the child that brings them together.” He clasped his hands together in a dream-like stance. “What first starts as a mutual hatred and dislike for one another turns slowly into the sweetest romance, only for the male to be heartbroken upon finding his loved one has been struck with the most incurable of diseases-“

 

“First of all, Kyungsoo and I did not start off in mutual hatred and dislike.” Jongin cut in, rolling his eyes. “Second, I don’t have an incurable disease, which doesn't matter since we are not going to be in the _sweetest of romances_ anyways.” He paused, frowning. “And I am not a peasant.”

 

“Please, compared to Kyungsoo, who works in an _actual_ office building as head manager, you are _so_ a peasant.” Luhan deadpanned. “And you guys are _so_ in love. You practically worship the guy, and he pays for everything out of love. It’s just like Yixing and his rich boy toy, except Yixing repays in sex too!”

 

“I heard that, Luhan,” Yixing walked by the trio, causing them to jump in shock. “You three, don’t you have work to be doing, like… I don’t know, your jobs?” he tsks at them before disappearing into the stock room.

Luhan glares at his retreating back. “He’s only the manager here cause his ‘boyfriend’ owns the franchise.”

 

“Be careful what you say, he’s the reason we have this job.”

 

“And I can very well be the reason you lose them as well.” Yixing adds sweetly, causing to jump in shock again. He turns to Jongin. “Since you were the last one to report in, you have delivery duty. Better get your uniform on, we already have orders coming in. No ifs or buts, Kyungsoo texted me that you held them up at the daycare, so it’s your fault.” Jongin sulked. It was technically Kyungsoo’s fault for having sent Miyoung there. Regardless, he followed Yixing back to the back, giving one last glaring look at the two idiots out front, as they made kissing sounds behind his back. He untied his apron and grabbed the red delivery shirt and cap instead.

 

“Don’t pay attention to what those two say,” Yixing says, wheeling the bicycle out from the corner. Jongin snorted.

 

“Those two put together have less brain cells then I do, and that’s saying something. The day I take anything to they say to heart, you might as well shoot me dead.” Yixing scoffed.

 

“But in all honesty though, you do like Kyungsoo right?”Jongin jolted, blinking at Yixing curiously. Truthfully, for the past three years of working at UFC™, he’s heard enough of Sehun and Luhan’s teasing to expertly tune it all out, but this was the first time Yixing had ever contributed to the subject surrounding Jongin and Kyungsoo’s weird relationship.

 

“Jongin, it’s alright for you to like whoever you want to, but I’m worried that whatever is between you and Kyungsoo is only going to lead to… well is not going to end well.” Jongin let out a nervous laugh, pushing Yixing playfully.

 

“Well thankfully, you don’t have to use that pretty head of yours to worry about anything, since there’s nothing going on between us.” He teased, but Yixing didn’t lighten up, instead, holding onto the bike and stalling Jongin from leaving the room.

 

“It’s not even just if you have a crush on him anymore,” Yixing continued, despite Jongin’s attempts to bypass him. “Have you considered Kyungsoo’s feelings, if he might actually like you? I mean, Jongin, he paid for Miyoung’s daycare. I know that place, it’s not cheap _at all_. Before, when he was just helping you guys out here and there, I didn’t think too much about it, but now… it’s like he really wants a permanent place in your lives.”

 

“He has one.” Jongin looked firmly at Yixing. “He’s always had one. You know Miyoung considers him an Uncle and-“

 

“I don’t mean it that way.”

 

“Then what do you mean?” Yixing blinked, mouth posed to say something, but he shook his head.

 

“Just, you should tell him if you like him, because if you have a crush-“

 

“I don’t have a crush on him.” Jongin interjected quickly. He took a breath. “Really!” Yixing didn’t look convinced. “Yixing, don’t worry. I’m not sure what you’re implying between me and Kyungsoo, but I assure you that it’s nothing to worry about. I’m extremely thankful for everything that he’s done for us obviously, and someday I really hope to pay him back, but _we’re just friends,_ that’s all.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because unlike Tao’s cheesy dramas or Luhan’s stupid analogies, and even Yixing’s wild musings, Jongin was _not_ in love with Kyungsoo. Eternally grateful, yes. But having a crush on him? _Definitely not._

 

Obviously it was completely normal to think he looked cute when he grins, or to hang onto every word that comes out of his mouth because everything Kyungsoo had to say was interesting to him. He doubted there was anything wrong with liking how Kyungsoo felt when he hugs Jonging out of happiness, or to fall into a daze over the elder’s eye smiles.

 

But yeah, there was _certainly_ no way he could ever have a crush on Kyungsoo. _Absolutely_.

 

( _You’re using way too many synonyms of ‘definitely’ to assert your point,_ a small voice in his head teases him. Jongin shakes it off. He _undoubted- unquesti- obvi-_ did not have a crush on Kyungsoo. At all.)

 

Anyways, it wasn’t the routine teasing from Luhan and Sehun, or the surprise conversation with Yixing that was on his mind right now. Another point they had made continued to bother him. Why _did_ Kyungsoo pay that much for daycare? Sure, Jongin may have acted all paranoid over letting Miyoung go that morning, but truthfully, knowing that Miyoung would be going to a school known for their top quality care of children who had unfortunate backgrounds definitely put Jongin’s mind to ease. There was no way he would have been able to send Miyoung to any daycare at all on his salary, much less one catered especially towards her physical and emotional needs.

 

That only bugged him even more. Miyoung wasn’t Kyungsoo’s ward; she was under the custody of Jongin. So why _had_ he covered the cost?

 

“Hey Kyungsoo?” he asked the elder, as the three of them walked out of the Japanese restaurant they ate at. Kyungsoo got held up at work, which meant they couldn’t go out to eat for lunch, so as a result, the elder gave into Jongin (and – by order of Jongin – Miyoung’s) pleas for sushi that night.

 

“Kyungsoo, I’m really thankful you paid for Mimi’s daycare tuition,” Kyungsoo made an imaginary penny clunk into an invisible jar, rolling his eyes at Jongin’s _millionth and one_ thanks. “But seriously, you didn’t have too, like… that's a lot.”

 

“I wanted too.” he shrugged, taking Miyoung’s hand into his own.

 

“B-but…” Jongin stuttered, keeping his eyes on the two’s interlocked hands. It was cute, seeing Miyoung’s tiny palm fit so well with Kyungsoo’s own small hand. “B-but why? I mean I’m thank- I mean it’s not only the daycare, there’s so much other things you’ve helped us out financially in and… I just want to know the reason…” He trailed off nervously. Kyungsoo slowed his steps, his eyes wrinkled in mock thought. He looked up at Jongin.

 

“Miyoungie’s cute?” Jongin furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“That’s it?”

 

“Andsoareyou.” Jongin jumped back in shock.

 

“What?”

 

“What?” Kyungsoo mirrored, grinning mischievously. Jongin blinked. Maybe he was hearing things. There was no way Kyungsoo thought he was cute.

 

He turned to Miyoung, who was skipping in between the two. “Hey, Mimi, what did Kyungsoo say?” She looked up innocently between the two, lips pursed in thought.

 

“I don't think Uncle Kyungsoo said anything!” Kyungsoo let out a laugh.

 

“That’s a good girl,” he grinned, patting her head. Jongin’s heart softened as he saw the interaction between the two. They liked to joke that despite being blood related to Jongin, Miyoung liked Kyungsoo more. The two had a special relationship that grew only more over the years. Granted, Kyungsoo always had a head start over Jongin into Miyoungs heart, considering that the elder was always more experienced with children, but there was something about Kyungsoo’s personality that drew people in. It wasn’t only Miyoung, but even Jongin would admit he had only grown closer to the elder over the years, due to his serious but easygoing character.

  
In fact… he could see how the guys at work would think Jongin had a crush on the elder (not that he did). Kyungsoo was definitely the type that others would be lucky to date, with his cute but sarcastic personality, and timid but firm nature. It wasn’t like the other was bad looking even, at times Jongin would admit to being lost in his endless eyes, or wondering how those heart shaped lips would feel. All out of curiosity of course, nothing else.

 

And yet… he continues to look down at Kyungsoo, who walked with such an elegance, who carried a professional aura of wealth and power. He never noticed before, but Kyungsoo always wore pristine button ups and expensive jeans, a heavy difference from Jongin’s own street clothes and Miyoung’s hand me downs.

 

Even if a tiny, miniscule part of him actually likes Kyungsoo (emphasize on the _tiny_ and _miniscule_ part, because there was no way Jongin would let his whole heart be taken by the ethereal male next to him _at all_ ), there was no way he could act on it anyways.

 

But that didn’t matter anyways! Because Jongin! Didn’t! Like! Kyungsoo! Like that! At all!

 

“Jongin, don’t think too much about it,” Kyungsoo cut into Jongin’s thoughts, flashing a wide smile at him. “It’s all out of my love for you and Miyoung, right Mimi?” The little girl nodded, grinning a similar smile up at Jongin. It did nothing to calm the unease in his heart however, still staring unconvinced at Kyungsoo.

 

They walk up to Kyungsoo’s car, one of the newest Infiniti models that just released this year. Jongin’s heart sank. Sehun’s words from before came floating back in his mind.

 

He’d never paid much attention to it before, but Kyungsoo was always on a different social level then him and Miyoung. In the three years that passed since they first met that frantic night of Miyoung’s arrival, while Jongin had struggled through school and juggling various jobs, Kyungsoo had worked himself up to head manager of the conglomerate he worked at, which was straight in the middle of their city, where only the wealthiest resided. However, all this time, Kyungsoo’s humble attitude coupled with him staying at the small apartment building on the outskirts where they first met had meant Jongin never minded the large financial differences between the two.

 

But now… he wondered _why_ Kyungsoo was still living next door to Jongin. He wondered why Kyungsoo, who was most likely making hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars, still bothered with Jongin, who in his lifetime would never be able to pay the elder back for all he had done. Yixing’s words about Kyungsoo paying for Miyoung’s daycare tuition came rushing back, along with Luhan’s words about Kyungsoo doing it all out of pity.

 

And maybe that’s why he really won’t even admit to his crush; which – if Jongin was actually honest with himself – was definitely more then just a small liking, or tiny interest, or brotherly infatuation. Maybe that’s why Jongin hides his true feelings, an unrequited love – as Luhan said – that only grew more and more each time he saw the elder. Maybe, in the end, that’s why he repeatedly denies his love for Kyungsoo, no matter how much more he falls each time they are together.

 

It’s not like he can act upon any of it anyways, because he’s 100% positive Kyungsoo will never like him back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“So basically you’re in love with Kyungsoo, but you simultaneously want him to disappear from your life, so you won’t feel guilty about possibly holding him back from doing his own thing, because you think he only sticks around ‘cause he pities you guys, which is why you won’t admit your love for him, since there’s no way he would like you back.“ Taemin blinked twice, staring despairingly at Jongin. “Dude, you can’t lay this shit on me during a _play date_.”

 

“Language!” Jongin hissed. Taemin snickered, pointing at the trio of kids, who were too engrossed with the TV to notice their male guardians.

 

“I need alcohol,” Taemin continued, sliding down the couch to the kitchen, only to be grabbed by Jongin.

 

“Kids!” he hisses again, jerking his head towards the TV. Taemin rolled his eyes, but returned to his seat. The two were currently at Taemin’s house, at one of the prearranged ‘playdates’ that Naeun set her twins and Miyoung up with. Jongin knows the real reason is so the other could have some free time away from Jaehyun, Joohyun, and most likely Taemin as well, but he doesn’t mind, since it gives him time to chat with his best friend.

 

“Dude, I’m still not seeing the problem here,” Taemin says instead, crossing his arms. “I mean, you’re in love with him-“

 

“Can we please stop throwing that word around I’m not ‘in love’ per say-“

 

“And he obviously feels something for you, so all that’s left to do is have one drunken night while Miyoung’s asleep and bam! his ass is yours!” Taemin sat back, satisfied. “Well, more like your ass is his ‘cause it’s obvious he’d top-“

 

“Language! Children! Adult Content! Keep it G rated!” Jongin threw his hand over Taemin’s mouth. “And why does everyone think he feels something for me? It makes no sense, he’s practically surrounded by beautiful rich people day in and day out, which would probably be 100 times better lover material than I am?” Taemin rolled his eyes and licked Jongin’s hands, earning a squeal from the other.

 

“If you seriously think Kyungsoo only takes someone’s financial situation into consideration when finding a lover, then you obviously don’t know your neighbor at all.” Taemin continued. “Anyone a mile away can see he likes you back.”

 

“He does not.” Jongin paused. “And I don’t-“

 

“Please cut the cra-poop.” Taemin corrected himself, flinging his legs onto Jongin’s lap and leaning into the armrest of the couch. “Like seriously, you have a crush on him. He likes you back. This is practically a love story waiting to happen, so go get your man! Why are you worrying about holding him back and being a nuisance and all that other nonsense?”

 

“But that’s the thing! Even if Kyungsoo had this ‘so called’ crush on me, (“Stop lying” Taemin coughed into his hand) I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it anyways, ‘cause what do I have to offer? I’m a 22-year-old guy who has a four-year-old child under my wing and has to work two jobs in order to put food on the table for us. He wears thousand-dollar suits to work, I wear a chicken costume. It’s like… Cinderella and Prince Charming!” he points to the movie that the three kids were watching. “It’s obvious he only pities us, and is helping me out because he feels bad I got stuck with Mimi.” Jongin eyes drop, his lip pouting out. “Maybe I shouldn’t have accepted his help from the beginning. I should have set a boundary over how much I let him baby Miyoung. I was just happy that someone could help give Mimi what she deserves, that I’ve been completely blind to how much trouble it is to him-“

 

“Why. Do. We keep coming back to this?!” Taemin exploded, causing the three kids to look back in concern. “Keep watching you guys, Uncle Jongin’s just being a idiot right now.”

 

“Language!”

 

“Jongin, Kyungsoo loves you guys. He fucking adores Miyoung- (“Lang-“ “Please stop.”) and definitely likes you. Of course, I’m not sure _what_ he sees in you, considering how much of a _wimp_ you are, but I know that he has that special look when he’s around you, one that like sparkles with happiness whenever he sees you. He has like a special voice when he’s talking with you too, he gets all soft and tender when he’s with you or Mimi compared to everyone else in the world-“

 

“You’re lying, stop trying to make me feel better.”

 

“I’m not lying!” Taemin groaned, leaning his head over the side of the couch in frustration. “Okay, I mean, I get it. You’re just afraid of acting on your feelings. Yeah, Kyungsoo’s done a lot for you guys over the years more then you’ve done for him; so I get why you think you’re not good enough to be his boyfriend. Somewhere deep deep _deep_ inside of you, you’re afraid of Kyungsoo only pitying you more if you confess. But honestly, you should know the guy better than that. Kyungsoo will never pity you guys ever. I mean, it’s pretty obviously he loves Miyoung so much, and by paying for her daycare fees, he just wants the best for her. And well, it’s like what Yixing said. He wants a permanent place in _both_ your lives, and this is his way of telling you that.”

 

“Jongin, you need to stop being so damn insecure, if you saw you guys relationship from an outside source, even someone as dense as you could see the love radiating between the two of you. So why don’t you just act on your feelings and stop overthinking this?”

 

Jongin stayed silent, refusing to look at his friend. It was easy for Taemin to say all that. He and Naeun had been the dream high school couple back then, both pretty and popular and madly in love with each other. Him and Kyungsoo were far from that. Even if everyone else told him to act on his heart, it was definitely easier said then done. He just couldn’t ignore the dark cloud of worry that told him _‘it’s not what they all say. Kyungsoo doesn’t like you back. Everyone’s misreading it.’_

 

“Jongin, please stop- _Joohyun_ , stop pulling on Jaehyun’s hair, he hardly has any left thanks to you!” Joohyun’s high-pitched squeal broke into his thoughts. Jongin winced as the young girl ignored her father’s words and continued anyway, before taking it upon himself to separate the twins. Joohyun giggled as Jongin wrenched her hands out of her brother’s hair, and it really surprised him that Jaehyun wasn’t crying based on how much the girl had yanked out.

 

“How did you get Miyoung to be a perfect little angel ‘cause I want some of that magic for Joohyun,” Taemin complained, seating Joohyun into his lap far away from Jaehyun. The little girl bubbled and squirmed. “Yes, I mean _you_ you little brat, you’re lucky I love you so much.” He chuckled as Joohyun scratched at his arms, demanding to be released. Jongin pulled Miyoung into his own lap, as the two watched, amused.

 

“Well obviously, she learned from the best,” he bragged, teasingly sticking his tongue out at Taemin, who scoffed in return. “I mean, I’m obviously the best role model, right Mimi?” she nodded enthusiastically.

 

“And Uncle Kyungsoo too!” she chimed in. Jongin blanked. Taemin let out a knowing smirk.

 

“Ahh… and Uncle Kyungsoo?” Miyoung shook her head enthusiastically.

 

“They're the best uncles out there in the world!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up and hitting Jongin in the face. “Sorry Jonginnie.”

 

“Best uncles, huh…” Jongin really wanted to wipe the grin off Taemin’s face, as the other continued to flash mischievous looks at Jongin. “And you want them to stay with you _together,_ forever and ever, right?”

 

“Of course!” Miyoung giggled, leaning back into Jongin. He flinched at her words, which caused the girl to look up unsurely at Jongin. He managed a weak glance back. “I-if t-they want…”

 

Taemin let out a small chuckle, this time giving Jongin a more meaningful look.

 

“Oh I think Jongin does want that, doesn’t he?”


	2. two.

 

Maybe his friends words’ were actually hitting stronger then before, or maybe Kyungsoo’s generous act was making him realize the difference between them much better, but Jongin suddenly felt the need to confront whatever ‘issue’ there was between him and Kyungsoo. It felt stupid in his head, considering they had been in the same “relationship” for the past three years, but the nagging voice in his head only got louder by the day, fueled by the blunt words from Taemin, Yixing and Luhan and Sehun.

 

Yet, as the days went on, Jongin found it harder and harder to confront the other. Ironically, he also began to realize exactly how much he saw of Kyungsoo, from driving Miyoung to daycare, meeting up for lunches, to picking up Jongin from work. They had almost every dinner together, and on the weekend after he went over to Taemin’s, the trio went to an amusement park, where – Jongin couldn’t help but notice – Kyungsoo bought Miyoung a giant stuffed animal from. It never occurred to him how much their lives intertwined, and it only seemed to further prove Jongin’s point.

 

However, it wasn’t until after his latest showcase, while he still had the buzzed feeling from dancing on stage and being in his element, that Jongin decided to brave the awkward conversation he was going to have with Kyungsoo.

“Thanks for coming out to my show again.”

 

 _Kyungsoo was right;_ he mentally cursed himself after saying that. He really did thank Kyungsoo a lot. The elder had always deserved the gratitude, but if Jongin looked back, it only showed how different the two were from each other. Kyungsoo never had to thank Jongin for anything, since it was Kyungsoo who always did the action that deserved the acknowledgement.

 

Jongin’s heart sunk lower.

 

“Hey, me and Mimi would never miss one of them,” Kyungsoo replied, his lips drawing up into a wide smile. “She was all excited too, since this was the first one where you got the end solo part, though I think you scared her with all the changes in your expressions…” Jongin laughed nervously, hitching the sleeping Miyoung higher in his arms. She had started crying after Jongin’s dramatic ending, and Jongin wasn’t surprised that she was worn out, the girl was scared Jongin had actually been “killed” and refused to leave his arms afterwards.

 

“I enjoyed it though, it’s really nice to see your dancing again. You were really amazing up there.” Kyungsoo blushed; looking downwards, and Jongin could feel a small grin tugging at his lips. Getting a compliment from the usually sarcastic Kyungsoo was rare, yet the elder had a way of making the receiver feel exceptionally happy with his words, and Jongin was no different. It almost made Jongin want to forget about what he really wanted to say to the elder, and instead spend the night chatting over how the performance went.

 

But the little voices continued to taunt his brain, sending a wave of pain to his heart. He took a deep breath.

 

“Hey Kyungsoo?” The elder hummed his acknowledgement. “I really… really can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done over the years-“

 

“Another penny for my metaphorical jar~” Kyungsoo chuckled, but his face turned serious upon noticing Jongin wasn’t smiling in return. “Is this still about the daycare thing? Because honestly, if it makes you feel that bad, you can pay for half of it so-“

 

“It's not just that.” Jongin cut in. He took in a deep breath. “The guys at work were just… talking about how much you’ve helped me over the years, and it got me thinking-“

 

“Really? Sehun and Luhan made you think? Call the presses, it’s a miracle.” Kyungsoo cut in. Jongin blinked.

 

“Well, something in what they said really hit hard with me.” He bit his lip. “You’ve been a tremendous help to Miyoung and I over the years, and there’s no way in both our lifetimes combined that we can ever repay you… but… why? Why have you always been there? I know I told you never to leave me, but it would really make me feel guilty if you actually stayed ‘cause of that one night.”

 

“Jongin, I… I- what?” Kyungsoo looked desperately confused, his eyes wide up at the other. Jongin looked away, finding it easier to continue talking if he didn’t see Kyungsoo’s eyes.

 

“Was it out of pity? Did you just feel bad for me, the poor nineteen year old who just lost his brother, and suddenly had to take in a little girl despite not knowing anything about kids? Did watching me struggle hit something in your heart, and just…” he didn’t want to continue on. Glancing back at Kyungsoo, the elder seemed to understand. A flurry of emotions passed his face.

 

“Did you really think it was all that?” Kyungsoo’s voice cracked. “Jongin, I’m sorry if I made you feel that way, but no… no I didn’t stay around just because I pitied you guys. I really love being there for you, and you- you both mean so much t-to me I just-“

 

“Kyungsoo, you’re almost twenty-four, and yet you’re with me and Mimi more then going out and enjoying your bachelor years.” Jongin was rambling on now, the words tumbling out faster then he could keep up. “I mean, Miyoungie’s my life now, and I would never wish for anything else, but I’m kinda stuck with her. I can’t go out on weekends and meet other people. Blind dates are out, since no one wants a guy with an attachment to him. I mean, even my schedule revolves around Mimi and making sure she’s okay, rather then myself. She’s _my_ responsibility, and _I_ have to suffer whatever consequences come with it. But _you_ don't.”

 

“But I want too!” Kyungsoo cut in, coming to a halt in front of Jongin. They were at their building now, but neither made a move to enter. “Jongin, I don’t think you understand-“

 

“I think… I think you should cut back on how much you’re involved with our lives,” his voice was surprisingly strong despite how inside he felt himself turning to mush. “Y-you obviously can afford to move to a nicer complex, and go out and meet other people, a-and I think you should go do that. Live your life, you know? Enjoy your 20s while you can.”

 

Kyungsoo stayed silent, his eyes glistening. Jongin felt his own body trembling.

 

“Kyungsoo, I wouldn’t not let you see Miyoung again if you moved away,” he tried desperately. “I mean- I’m really thankful for all that you've done for the two of us, but truthfully I’ve gotten so much better at this and I think I can really handle her by myself- I don’t want us to be the reason you aren’t like… moving on. Achieving bigger things. Actually having a life outside of us two. Enjoying your single life, you know-“

 

“I am enjoying my life-"

 

“Please Kyungsoo, I don’t want to be holding you back from… well being like other guys your age and in your position, like hanging out at bars after work o-or like finding people to date or falling in love-“

 

“I love you!” Everything stopped.

 

Jongin stared down at the other, eyes wide. Kyungsoo himself seemed surprised at the words that had just come out of his mouth, but he pursed his lips, glaring back at Jongin determinedly.

 

“I admit, at first it was out of pity. You were in hysterics that first day, but who could blame you? I felt so bad, considering you just suffered a great loss and now was hitting another setback. Truthfully I was only planning to help you get back on your feet, help you learn the basics of caring for a child, and that was all.”

 

“But then I saw how determined you were to make it work, how committed you were to raising Miyoung up well. I don’t know what it was. Maybe it was just you being brash at nineteen years old, or maybe you just needed to fill that void after your brother’s death, but… in such a short amount of time I saw a great change in you. You’ve always been more mature than others your age, but it seemed like a new and more adult Jongin than before.”

 

“Sure, that first night and for a couple nights afterwards, it seemed like you weren’t ready to raise Miyoung, but then all of a sudden, you just picked yourself up, accepted the situation, and faced it with one of the most responsible attitudes I’ve ever seen. It was shaky at first, but you were more then willing to learn along the way, learn how to raise Mimi. And… I-I just… I really respected that. I admired you so much for you strength and bravery.”

 

“And that’s why I stayed, not out of pity or obligation. It’s almost selfish of me, but seeing you work hard to get by each day and make the most of everything life handed to you… it just… it just fueled my own feelings towards you, to develop far past just respect and admiration to something that… something like love.” He took a deep breath, eyes blinking away tears. No sounds came from Jongin, as he stood on the stairwell in dead silence, taking it all in.

 

“I stayed because I loved you guys. I never cared about how much I helped you guys, or felt like I was paying too much, because if we’re being honest, the love and happiness you and Miyoung have brought to my life these past three years far surpasses everything I could ever contribute to yours.” He paused. “I’ve always loved Miyoung ever since she first smiled up at me that night – an-and you I fell for soon after and it’s only continues to grow every day I see you… a… and…” he faltered, suddenly looking unsure of himself. Jongin felt his insides turn, seeing how scared Kyungsoo was. It didn’t help with how confused Jongin was himself, his head spinning with all this new information that was suddenly thrown at him.

 

“Maybe a p-part of me h-had thought you… you liked me back,” Kyungsoo said quietly, looking down at his hands. “I-I thought… you wanted me in you and Miyoung’s life as much as I wanted to be there. Every time you smiled at me, or laughed at something I said, or even just watching you be so sweet to both me and Miyoung… it made my heart flutter, and well… it almost felt like we were actually a couple raising a daughter together. It made me happy, like I actually had a family, that there were two people I could count on to be there for me, always.”

 

“But you know what?” He could hear Kyungsoo trembling, looking anywhere but at Jongin and Miyoung. “I-If I was making you that uncomfortable, t-then maybe you’re right. I’m sorry I-I imposed myself into your lives so much. I should have known it was all a misunderstanding on my part, since these types of stories only happen in fairy tales, right?” He let out a bitter laugh. “And in the end, my delusions only caused more trouble.” He sighed, eyes down casted.

 

“I’ll stay out of your lives, I promise. I’m really sorry for everything, I n-never meant to make you unco- I only just wanted too- I t-thought-.” Kyungsoo froze. “I’m sorry.” He ended with a weak smile, before turning towards the door and disappearing into the building, leaving Jongin shell shocked outside.

 

He never could have imagined that his friends’ words were actually _true_ , that Kyungsoo could actually like him _back_. Maybe it was Jongin who lived in illusion that their story could never be the stereotypical rich falls for poor type. That itself seemed like a fairy tale and before, Jongin never believed that it could happen in real life.

 

And yet… he stares at the silent door, Kyungsoo long gone from his view. It almost felt like he was given a rare opportunity to live out the perfect ending to his own fantasy, only to have just let it slip straight through his fingers.

 

“Jonginnie?” Miyoung was rubbing her eyes awake, peering at Jongin concernedly. She brought her hand up to his face, wiping his cheek, which Jongin didn’t realize was tear stained until that moment. “Jongin, are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he stuttered out, managing a feeble smile to the girl. She didn’t look convinced, and if Jongin was being truthful with himself, he really wasn’t either.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been two weeks since Kyungsoo confronted him, and Jongin’s hardly seen the other since. Without Kyungsoo around, it only became painfully clear how both men had set their schedules to match up with one another, because now that they weren’t exactly on speaking terms, he never saw the other anymore. The only interaction he has is in the mornings, where they awkwardly avoid each other, with Kyungsoo practically flying to the elevator whenever he sees Jongin exiting his apartment.

 

It only made Jongin miss the elder even more, and want to make it all right. But what would he even say? How could he approach Kyungsoo at all, if he himself wasn’t sure how he wanted their situation to end? Even if he did apologize, where would they go from there?

 

“Jongin?” He blinked, looking down at where he was helping Miyoung into her pajamas.

 

“Seriously, will you ever call me Uncle Jongin?” Jongin chuckled, but retracted as soon as he saw Miyoung’s face. He tensed up, bending down to face her. “What’s up?”

 

“Why do I live with you?” Jongin glanced at her, surprised as he slips her into the other sleeve of her shirt.

 

“Umm… because you love me?” he tried weakly. Miyoung pursed her lips. “I mean, you’ve always lived with me, so why are you asking now?”

 

“A boy in school says you’re not my real dad, since I have to call you Uncle Jongin.” She states in a matter-of-fact tone. Jongin inhaled deeply. He suddenly knows where this conversation is going, and can feel his stomach churning. “He said that my real parents left me, that they didn’t want me, and that you took me in because you felt bad for me. He says that you will leave me too.” She blinked, her eyes wide with fear. “You’re not going to leave me, are you? You’re not going to give me up too, right?”

 

Jongin’s insides curled. Miyoung was told the gist of what happened to Jonghyun and Sunyoung before, but Jongin knew that this conversation was coming. He had just never known how he was going to approach it, and now that he was hearing these words from Miyoung’s mouth, it only appeared to be even worse. How could he answer such bitter and sorrowful words that were coming from a four year old?

 

His mouth stayed in a gaping stance, with nothing coming out of it. Miyoung let out a sigh, and Jongin’s heart breaks at how old she sounds. “It’s okay if you don’t want me, but can you tell me when I have to leave, so I can pray my next uncle will be as nice as you are?” She climbed into her bed, and pulled her sheets up.

 

“M-mi-“

 

“I love you Uncle Jongin.” She cuts in, smiling timidly which only renders Jongin speechless again. He just sits there, watching as Miyoung closed her eyes and fell asleep. At least, he thinks so. Was Miyoung only pretending, hoping for Jongin to leave and prove her point right? How many nights had she laid in bed, wondering if it would be her last night with Jongin?

 

(What made all this worse was Jongin knew the feeling of lying in bed, scared of what could possibly await him in the morning. Without Jonghyun’s constant presence that gave Jongin a slight ounce of comfort after his brother left home, the dark lonely nights became hundreds of times more haunting, a feeling he never enjoyed.)

 

It makes him want to hurl, and the next thing he knows, he’s over the toilet bowl, emptying their dinner into it. He slumps against the bathroom wall, dazed. Now he knows why the social worker had warned him about keeping it a secret from Miyoung. _Children are more aware then you think._ He could only fearfully imagine what was going on in Miyoung’s head right now, what had been plaguing her thoughts all this time. The thought itself was enough to make him go another round in the toilet.

 

What was worst though, was how he had reacted. By saying nothing, that could give the little girl the wrong impression. Jongin wanted to go back to her room, but what would he say? Despite knowing this day was coming, and even preparing himself to answer back, the words that had come out of her mouth were more jarring then he expected, and it hit him hard. At that moment, everything he had thought up just went flying out of his mind.

 

So instead, his feet carried him another way. It seemed as if they moved on their own, half running, half stumbling across the wood floor and out his front door, straight for the one next door. He knocks.

 

It’s almost like déjà vu, bringing him back to three years ago, as Kyungsoo opens the door, clad in his pajamas. The elder’s looks wary at first, yet, that turns into concern upon seeing the distress on Jongin’s face.

 

“What’s wrong?” Even his voice sounds the same as back then, the same warm and velvety sound that immediately acts like a soother to Jongin’s chaotic mind. However, Miyoungs’ words come rushing back, bringing another wave of pain to his head.

 

“M-Miyoung, s-she-“ Sensing his upset, Kyungsoo quickly ushered Jongin in. He sat the other down on his couch, before disappearing into the kitchen.

 

“She asked me why she has to live with me, why she lives with her uncle instead of her parents.” Jongin continued in a trance, his eyes staring downwards. He could hear Kyungsoo freeze in the kitchen. “She- she thinks that they didn’t- didn't want her, and she…” he gulped, Kyungsoo had not moved an inch from his spot. “She thinks I’m going to give her up too.”

 

“Jongin-“

 

“That’s not even the worst part.” He dropped his head into his hands. “She asked me if I was going to give her up, and I didn’t answer. She _asked_ me, and _I didn’t fucking answer_.”

 

“Oh Jongin-“ Abandoning the tea he was preparing in the kitchen, Kyungsoo sat down next to Jongin and put his arms around the youngers shoulders.

 

“How can I face her now? I knew this day was coming, and I thought I was prepared to help her through it, but she just looked…” he could feel tears springing to his eyes. “…She just looked so _sad,_ sad and frightened, and my mind went blank and frozen and just… I should have answered; I should have told her that I wasn’t going to abandon her, that I would never leave her. And how come I didn't notice she felt this way before? It hurts, Kyungsoo, the idea that she thinks that way and could possibly have been feeling that way _all this time_ and I didn’t _notice_ , I didn’t reassure her from the beginning that I was here to stay, that I would be here for her forever. I just… I feel like such a bad guardian that she could have these insecurities and I wasn’t there to help her through them and just-“

 

“Jongin, stop.” He paused at Kyungsoo’s firm voice. “ _You are not a bad parent,_ okay? I’ve been watching you all these years, and I know for a fact that you have been nothing but the best guardian for Miyoung that she could ever have. Look at Miyoung. She’s so mature and responsible, and has a good and moral head on her shoulders. Remember back when you first got her, back when we first took her to the hospital and they told us she might have problems with her mental development? Look at her now, top of her class! They call her the brightest child and fastest learner at the daycare center. She exceeded what everyone thought of her, and well… it’s all thanks to you and your optimism that she could do it.”

 

“It’s natural for her to wonder about her parents, we always knew that. And it’s only right that she knows. But Jongin, you’ve done an amazing job in their place, raising her like your own. You’re so selfless, always considering her needs over yours, putting her first… the fact that you’re not even her real father and already do all that for her is a testimony to how amazing a parent you are.”

 

“Sure, I know you’re probably scared right now, frightened because you’re unsure how to handle this. But remember, you also didn’t know what to do when you first got custody of her, but look how far you got! Three years later, and you’ve done more then just raised her; you’ve loved her like she was your own, and given her the childhood she deserves. Just remember the reasons why you did all that, and what kept you moving on, even when it got tough and hard for you. Because I guarantee about 99% of those have to do with Miyoung, and that’s what will help you to talk to Miyoung about Jonghyun and Sunyoung, and reassure that you’re going to continue to raise her, love her, and give her everything she deserves in their place.”

 

“And well…” he paused. The sliver of moonlight from behind Kyungsoo gave him a soft glow, and Jongin stared at him, entranced.

 

“I know you’ll be able to do just that, because Miyoung is the ray of sunshine to your life, and all you have to do is let her know exactly that.” He ended with a light smile, his eyes crinkling with kindness and patience. Jongin never thought he saw anything more beautiful at that moment.

 

If Jongin were drunk, he could have blamed his next move all on the alcohol. But Jongin knew he wasn’t drunk, knew he hadn’t touch a drop of beer since the day Miyoung came into his care, he was 100% sober, 100% conscious and aware, and 100% sure he was kissing Kyungsoo, _and Kyungsoo was kissing back._

 

He pushed away, gasping. Kyungsoo touched at his lips, staring just as wide back at Jongin.

 

“I’m I’m s-sorry- I-I didn't mean-“ Kyungsoo still didn’t say anything, his entire body frozen.

 

Jongin didn’t waste another second on that couch, pushing himself off of it and all but racing to the door. Two seconds later he’s in his own apartment, fingers still up against his lips.

 

The kiss was nothing like he expected, Kyungsoo’s lips even more heavenly then his greatest fantasies. And yet, it bewildered him that he had suddenly kissed the other like that.

 

Maybe it was the euphoria from finally seeing Kyungsoo again, and having the other talk to him in that loving voice of his. Maybe it was because his mind was already in a chaotic frenzy after the eventful night, and the stress of what could lie tomorrow.

 

But no. It wasn’t any of those reasons.

 

Kyungsoo had lied when he said Miyoung was a ray of sunshine in Jongin’s life. Miyoung was his entire world, no doubt, the sky and the seas and the land all combined into the perfect person that she was. But it was Kyungsoo who was the actual sun to both of them; a light that shined on them and had guided them, providing them with warmth and wisdom that helped them both grow even more. Jongin couldn’t deny it anymore. Without Kyungsoo, his whole world went dark, and in the process, he even brought gloominess to Miyoung. He couldn’t live without Kyungsoo.

 

So if Jongin really looked inside himself for the real reason why he kissed Kyungsoo, there was no denying what it was. He was in love with Kyungsoo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He hardly got any sleep that night, meaning a very drowsy morning the next day. Half awake, he stumbled into the kitchen, grasping blindly for the coffee pot.

 

The kitchen was quiet that morning, the only sounds coming from the lull of traffic outside. In fact, it was too quiet, and looking around, Jongin saw that the main source of noise in the morning was not present. He blinked.

 

Miyoung was usually good at waking herself up, a blessing to Jongin – who hardly could get out of bed himself – so it worried him that she had not showed up at the table. _Immensely worried him._

 

“Mimi?” he took a step towards her bedroom, hoping that she was okay, but the young girl walked around the corner at that moment, rubbing her eyes. They looked red, from lack of sleep or something else, Jongin didn’t know.

 

“Miyoungie, I-“

 

“Good morning Uncle Jongin!” she bounds up to him, throwing her arms around his legs for a hug. It makes Jongin smile faintly.

 

“Are we going to have toast?” she asked, walking over to their small refrigerator. “Can I have peanut butter?” Jongin nodded weakly, watching as she yanks open the door, nearly sending her flying back, before grabbing the small brown bottle out.

 

“Do you want the purple peanut butter?” he nodded again, sitting at the counter in shock. She pulled out the jam as well, setting both on the floor and closing the door, before grabbing both bottles and standing on her tippy toes to place them on the counter. He watches as she walks over to their utensil cabinet, grabbing a kiddie knife and butter one out for the spreads.

 

The toaster beeps, popping out the two slices of bread. Miyoung turns.

 

“Toast is done.” She grinned. Her blinding smile hits Jongin hard, jolting him alive again.

 

Miyoung climbs up in her stool, grabbing the peanut butter jar and opening it, before spreading it all over her piece of toast with the kiddie knife. Kyungsoo’s words from last night came rushing back.

 

It was bittersweet, seeing how much she had grown over the years. Being with a barely legal single guy meant Miyoung had no choice but to mature more quickly then others her age, since Jongin himself was in the process of entering adulthood at the time. They always joked that a child was raising a child, but at times, that really had been the case.

 

Yet… he focused on the good. Miyoung was still smiling, had always been smiling throughout these four years. The dullness in her eyes after the accident was gone; instead, they were filled with cheer and happiness. Over the years, Miyoung had grown to be a beautiful young girl, and while she was still young and childish, there was a thoughtful and responsible side to her, something that countered what everyone said was possible for someone like her.

 

_I did it. I raised her. Sure, we hit bumps on the way, but look at her now. She’s turned into the most precious child I’ve seen, all thanks to Kyungsoo and me._

 

“I’m done!” Miyoung’s bright voice brings him back to the kitchen, where she’s grinning widely up at him, crumbs all over her face. He hands her a napkin.

 

“Can I go now?” She doesn't wait for an answer, jumping off the stool and making for her bedroom. Jongin stopped her.

 

“Wait, Miyoungie, I need to tell you something.” She froze in her steps, eyes opening wide. Jongin took in a deep breath. It was now or never.

 

Squatting down and grabbing her by the shoulders, he faced her eye to eye. “I love you Miyoung.”

 

“I love you too Uncle Jongin.”

 

“No, Miyoung, I really love you, and I don’t want you to ever leave me.” She blinked, her lip trembling. He pulled her close, giving her a hug.

 

“Miyoungie, you already know that your parents are gone, and they aren’t coming back, right?” she nodded against her shoulder. He separated the two and looked her in the eye. “But it’s not because they want to stay away. I bet your parents really really _really_ want to come back and get you. They loved you so much.”

 

“But sometimes- there are people who can’t come back to the people they love, because they’re too far away. Your parents are like that, and it really upsets them where they are. They want to be able to hug you tight,” he pulls her in, “kiss your cheek,” he pecks her softly on both sides, “and say ‘I love you’ over and over like ‘I love you I love you iloveyou iloveyouiloveyou-“ Miyoung giggled, and Jongin let out a soft laugh of his own.

 

“And well… your parents… because they can’t be with you, they asked _me_ , your Uncle Jongin, to be there for you instead. And I said yes, I would be there for you instead of them. It was scary at first, because I didn't know if I would be a good enough uncle for you, but then I met you… and you began to live with me… and… well… Miyoungie, I never want to leave you, because I love you so much, and you are one of the best things that happened to me. Ever.”

 

Miyoung was still staring at him, a small smile on her lips. Jongin could only pray that part of what he was saying was registering in her brain, and slowly eradicating any other dark worries she might have in her head.

 

“Do you know what Miyoung means in Korean?” She shook her head no. “It means ‘beautiful hero’, and I can’t think of a better name for you. You’re _my_ beautiful hero, the light of my world. You’re so young, _only four years old!_ and yet, you’ve survived more then any of those kids at your daycare center have. I remember when I first held you three years ago, and now… now you’re such a big girl! You’ve grown so much Mimi, and each day you keep smiling more and more and lighting up the world in your own way.”

 

“Right now, your parents are smiling down at you from where they are. They’re so so _so_ proud of their brave little girl and how much she’s grown from the baby you were. _I’m so proud_ , of how much you’ve grown. When I first saw you, you were this small,” he motioned the length with his hands. “And now look! You’re so big you can reach the second shelf in our refrigerator!” Miyoung giggled again.

 

“So… I-I don’t want you to think they don’t love you, that _I_ don’t love you. Because I love you more then I love purple peanut butter.”

 

“More then purple peanut butter?” She bit her lip shyly. Jongin beamed back.

 

“Yep. More then purple peanut butter.” Jongin smiled. “And your parents also loved you more then purple peanut butter.”

 

“What about Uncle Kyungsoo?” Jongin blinked.

 

“H-He- definitely loves you too. And don’t forget that, okay? Don’t forget I love you, and your parents love you, and Uncle Kyungsoo loves you too, okay?”

 

“Okay.” She nodded, smiling up at Jongin. A part of him could tell he had spoken too much and his words only made partial sense to her, and it saddened him that he still couldn’t get through completely to her, but baby steps were made. It would be a while before she would understand completely, and he knew that when the time came, Miyoung would be less smiley and much more upset, but Jongin vowed to be there when that time came. Vowed to be there for Miyoung at all times.

 

“Come on, let’s go get changed so I can walk you to daycare.” He stood, reaching out for Miyoung’s hand.

 

“But Uncle Kyungsoo will drive us!” She pointed behind him.

 

“Uncle Kyungsoo’s not here…” He turned. There stood Kyungsoo, his eyes wide. In his hands were three lunch boxes.

 

“S-sorry i-I just let myself in to bring you guys lunch because no one a-answered when I knocked… I’ll just… I’ll just go now-“

 

“Mimi, can you go change by yourself? Uncle Kyungsoo and I need to talk.” Kyungsoo froze in his steps. Miyoung nodded again and ran off to her room, the shut door resonating across his small apartment, before turning to silence again.

 

“You left pretty quickly last night,” Kyungsoo started, laughing nervously. Jongin turned red, looking away from the other.

 

“I apologize,” he replied. Kyungsoo shifted, surprised. “I-I’m sorry that I made the situation uncomfortable last night-“ he felt a small peck against his cheek, and his mouth hung open.

 

“I would apologize for that kiss, but I’m not going too.” Kyungsoo was blushing as well, his eyes darting all over the place. “And I don’t want you to apologize for last night, because I really liked it.” His lips spread into a shy smile, and Jongin started to grin as well.

 

He took a deep breath in. “Kyungsoo… I guess I should let you know but-” He paused. “I-I… I like you.” he gulped. “A lot.” The other let out a small chuckle.

 

“I was hoping that was it, and it wasn’t just you making a brash choice, kissing me like that last night.” Jongin blushed again.

 

“So why didn’t you ever tell me before?” Kyungsoo continued shyly, yet boldly took a step closer to Jongin.

 

“I could ask you the same question.” He joked back weakly, before sighing. “T-truthfully, I didn’t think you could ever like me back, s-since you’re on a whole different level than me. And I know… it may not have seemed that big a deal to you, but I did see it as a major obstacle, something that made my situation seem…” he scoffed.

 

“Like I pitied you.” Kyungsoo finished, shaking his head slowly. He let out a disbelieving laugh. “To think… we were both just scared idiots.”

 

“Scared idiots in love you mean.”

 

Kyungsoo nodded in agreement, before replying, “I love you, and I love Miyoung. A lot. And it’s like I said. When you have someone you love that much, you don’t really notice anything else, so it only felt natural to buy you guys a lot of things, which I apologize for since I see now how that could be unsettling to you.”

 

He took another step forward. “I want to try and work whatever we have going on between us out. We both like each other, and we both want to be there for Miyoung… it’s just… I’m scared since I don’t know what will happen from this point on. Maybe… it’ll work out great. M-maybe it won’t. But I-I’m willing to try, I want to try, because…” Kyungsoo leaned in, mere inches away from Jongin. He could smell a rose smell coming from Kyungsoo’s hair, see the small freckles on his nose, and could almost feel the others soft cherry lips on his own.

 

“You _both_ are worth it.” Kyungsoo continued. “I’ve only really known you well for four years, and yet those three years spent as a close family friend to both you and Miyoung were some of my most joyful years alive.” He fell silent, staring up into Jongin’s face. Jongin himself didn’t say anything, but he knew his face was betraying his emotions with the way Kyungsoo’s eyes lit up with a wary happiness.

 

“Why are you guys so close to each other?” Kyungsoo banged his head against the wall as Jongin slipped backwards onto the counter, knocking the lunchbox to the floor. Miyoung frowned from where she was standing, changed into her uniform.

 

“Are you guys going to kiss?” Jongin choked on air, while Kyungsoo lets out a squeak of embarrassment. “Are you guys day-ting?”

 

“Where did you learn those words?” Jongin half shouts, as Kyungsoo coughs into his hand.

 

“Uncle Tao said you guys were day-ting. He said that Uncle Kyungsoo wants to take you to amusement parks without me, and pay for your dinner and kiss you like Uncle Yixing and his friend do in the hallways sometimes.”

 

(“I’m gonna kill my friends.” Jongin moans.)

 

Miyoung shrugged, blinking innocently up at the two. She continued on, “He says what they do in the chicken place is kiss-ing, except you weren’t doing the same thing…” she walks over to the counter floor and grabs the lunch box. “Can we go now? I want to tell that stupid boy that you love me?”

 

Jongin blushed happily, a wide smile appearing on his face at Miyoung’s words. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, peers suspiciously up at Jongin.

 

“Jongin? What. Does Yixing do in the hallways?” he freezes.

 

“Don’t worry about it, I’m gonna kill my friends when I get to work okay?”

 

“Jongin what did she see- Jongin don’t you dare run from me _get back here you_ -“

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Hey man, it’s not my fault that Yixing and his sugar daddy are into voyeurism.” Tao shrugs; taking a chip from the bowl Jongin was holding. Jongin glares back. “And well, I did kinda tell her the truth, didn’t I? I mean… come on, I can tell the future here.”

 

“She’s four years old she doesn’t need to know stuff like that.”

 

“Hey, isn’t it like the motto of all parents to prepare your kids for what’s coming? You should be thanking me.” Jongin would have punched Tao if it weren’t for Kyungsoo’s soft hand on his shoulder, holding him back.

 

“Please don’t, we need him to hang up the banners,” Kyungsoo reminded Jongin. “And Mimi would probably like to see him too.” He paused. “Afterwards though…” Jongin grinned down at Kyungsoo, pecking at his nose. Tao and Taemin let out a retching sound.

 

“You know, nothing has changed at _all_ about the two of you,” Taemin commented, grabbing one end of the banner and stepping up onto a chair. He glanced back down at the couple, nose crunching up. “Except… more gross.” Jongin pouted.

 

“We're not gross,” he sulked. “And you and Naeun were practically the same back in high school.” Taemin smirked.

 

“Yeah but, at that time, being all kissy and lovey dovey was appropriate for people our age. You guys are in your late twenties and have _a kid_. You should be approaching the harried parents stage too, like me and Naeun.”

 

“But we won’t, since our kid is perfect and doesn’t cause us any _hair-tearing_ troubles,” Taemin threw a pillow at Jongin, who narrowly missed, laughing. He pulled Kyungsoo into his arms, encircling them around his waist. “Right Kyunggie~? Mimi is the most perfect child in the world?”

 

“Of course. Now get to work or else this ‘perfect’ child isn’t gonna get her perfect anniversary party, and this _per_ son right here isn’t going to be _per_ fectly fine with that.” Kyungsoo pointed to himself, before swatting at Jongin’s arm. Laughing, Jongin leaned in to peck him on the cheek again, before letting go and picking up the thrown pillow from the floor.

 

It was almost surreal, to think that just two weeks ago, Jongin was afraid of talking to Kyungsoo, afraid of the clear social divide between them. Now, it was like what Taemin said. They had returned back to how they were before, except now Jongin could enjoy feeling Kyungsoo’s hand in his, or sneaking small pecks on the others cheek (or lips) whenever he could.

 

Sure, there was still no official label on their relationship, but Jongin would like to think that he could call Kyungsoo his own. They had a long discussion that night after Jongin confessed, about where they would go from that point. There was still the money issue, as Jongin didn’t want Kyungsoo to continue to pay for everything, and also the idea of balancing being “parents” to Miyoung while attempting a relationship with one another. It was going to be a long and trying process, but then again, everything in Jongin’s life was like that, and looking at his track record, he was pretty much always successful in working things. He was confident he and Kyungsoo could get through this together.

 

But first, there was this party to attend too.

 

“Hey guys, listen up,” his friends all paused, glancing over at Jongin. “I just want to say… that you all better be on your best behavior and now pull any funny shi-“

 

“Shut up Jongin you were about to curse at a kid’s party.” Kyungsoo cut in. “Hurry up guys, put the banner up. Jongdae’s bringing Mimi right now, and I want this to be perfect. Taemin, a little lower, it has to be even with Tao’s side.” Taemin mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like _slave master_ under his breath, but complied, shifting the giant ‘HAPPY ANNIVERSARY’ sign down a few inches.

 

“Low-er, no one can read it if it’s up there.”

 

“None of the kids will understand it anyways!”

 

“Maybe _yours_ won’t, ‘cause Mimi’s really smart-“

 

“Fight me, Kyungsoo. _Fight me.”_

 

“Who’s Jongdae?” Jongin hissed suddenly, a hint of jealousy coming from his mouth. Kyungsoo glared back.

 

“One of the caretakers at the daycare, who you would have met _if_ you _weren’t_ such a _big baby_ that day-“

 

“Happy anniversary Mimi!” A party favor tooted. The two blink from their conversation, to see that Miyoung had just stepped through the door, her eyes wide in confusion.

 

“Anni-anni-verse-so-rry?” she stuttered. A few people chuckled in the room.

 

Kyungsoo walked up to her and leaned down. “Four years ago, me, Uncle Jongin, and you met for the first time, which is something to celebrate as well. It’s a very important day, because we became a family that day. Think of it like your birthday… only, it’s our birthday.” He smiled up at Jongin. “The three of us.”

 

“Like a b-birthday?” She repeated. Jongin nodded. “So… every year, we have a party on this anni-verse-so-rry?” Jongin chuckled.

 

“Yep, every year.” He leaned down as well. “Because it’s a very, very important day to us. It’s something worth celebrating. He grinned widely. Miyoung’s eyes widened even more, and he expected her to return the smile.

 

She didn’t. Instead, her lips began to tremble, as she turned and ran out the door, leaving Kyungsoo and Jongin – plus everyone else in the room – in complete shock.

 

Kyungsoo turned to Jongin. “What. Did. You. Do.”

 

“I didn’t do anything you started talking first-“

 

“You _idiots_ , go after her!” Jongin hears Sehun shout from the back, and wasted no time running out the door, Kyungsoo on his tail. They don’t have to go far, spotting Miyoung bunched up in a corner, her knees drawn to her chest.

 

“Oh my gosh, Mimi are you okay?” Jongin slides down next to her, his face full of concern. “I’m sorry, we don’t have to celebrate if you don’t want too-“

 

“Every year. We are going, to celebrate, the day we met?” her lip was still trembling, but Jongin didn’t detect any sadness in her voice, only curiosity mixed with a hint of fear. Kyungsoo slid down on the opposite side of her.

 

“Yes, every year.”

 

“For how many years?” _Oh._ Jongin finally understood.

 

He gave her a big smile. “For as many years as you want.” He said. A tear dropped from Miyoung’s eye. “Because as long as you want to have a party, I will be at that party with you.” He smiled softly, wiping at Miyoung’s wide eyes.

 

“So you’re going to be with me forever?” Miyoung said in a small voice. “You really are going to stay there for me?” Jongin bit his lip, trying to prevent the tears from falling. It did no good, as both of them started to cry.

 

“We’ll always be there for you Mimi.” He looked up at Kyungsoo through his watery eyes, and saw the elder was smiling as well.

 

_Thank **you** , for always being there for me._

 

“Always.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Later that day, after the cake is cut and in the process of being eaten, Luhan comes up to him with a bright smile on his face.

 

“Look at this shot that I got.” He shows his camera screen to Jongin, who immediately grins widely upon seeing it.

 

It's of him and Kyungsoo, sitting on both sides of Miyoung. Her eyes are red, and so are Jongin’s, but all of them are smiling brightly at each other.

 

“Perfect family shot, isn’t it?” Luhan nudged Jongin. Jongin nodded. He couldn’t agree any less.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!


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